Safe Place: Face Your Fears |
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Editor’s note: When we first marry, none of us want that union to end in “irreconcilable differences”. Jimmy and Irene Rollins new book, Two Equals One, offers a counter-cultural, God-focused solution to lean in and build a marriage full of love, laughter, and longevity. Enjoy this excerpt. * |
Longevity requires navigating life’s seasons together.
We as human beings have a universal fear of change, but where does that fear come from? These transitions in life change us, but why do we so readily assume the worst? In our experience this has most often been a result of our differences. Differences in communication style, differences in needs, differences in our upbringings — they can cause tension whenever it seems the rules have changed or another element has been introduced, and now there’s some insecurity.
Often our fears are rational; they come from something we experienced in our past that we don’t want to experience again.
Maybe your parenting styles differ and you’re afraid of causing your children the same trauma you experienced in your childhood. Instead of working together to find balance, you make your spouse the villain and fight each other.
Maybe a change in job was the beginning of the end of your parents’ marriage, and now you don’t want your spouse getting that promotion. Your spouse doesn’t understand the source of your fear, so it just seems like you don’t support their dreams. -
Whatever the fear is, love requires us to face it. Only then can we build on our marriage and grow together.
There is a tendency to assume we know best. There’s a sense of security in a “known way” of doing things. No matter how much we love one another, it’s often altogether too tempting to hold on to our way — to being the one who is “right.” The irony is that we have often overanalyzed the other’s methods but never even considered why ours are so important to us. There was a certain group of people in Scripture who held on to their way of doing things without consideration for a new way. Jesus talked directly to them on a number of occasions — they were known as the Pharisees. Jesus told them,
Speaking of blindness: Why do you focus on the speck in your brother’s eye? Why don’t you see the log in your own? — Luke 6:41 The Voice |
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We put our spouse under a magnifying glass, but we’re afraid to look in the mirror. We need to confront our fear and contain it. Before we determine that our spouse’s way of doing things is wrong, we need to evaluate our way: Where does this fear come from? Why is it so important to me to do this my way? Often you will be able to trace your fear to a specific origin. Don’t keep this information to yourself — make your spouse aware of your feelings. This is all part of owning your emotions — it’s something we call “extreme ownership.”
Some may say they don’t want to change or they look at changing as a person as a negative thing, but change is required for positive things such as learning and growing. By definition, we can’t improve if we stay the same.
Remember: Love has no fear. And Scripture tells us that love “rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). Love also does not judge, and it is not arrogant. Which means that when our spouse expresses their opinion or way of doing things, we don’t assume a position of superiority. Love should compel us to consider their approach and their feelings. What naturally results is a melding or unification of methods. The two become one, stronger through each new transition.
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Are you praying for longevity in your marriage through all the transitions of life? Love requires that you face your fears not in isolation, but with your spouse. Together, with Jesus, you can become stronger, more in love, full of laughter, and for the long haul. ~ Devotionals Daily |
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Uncover the secrets to a thriving marriage |
Two Equals One: A Marriage Equation for Love, Laughter, and Longevity |
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+ Extra 20% off $50 with code BIBLE |
+ Extra 20% off $50 with code BIBLE |
100% of marriages that end in divorce are cited for "irreconcilable differences." Things that brought couples together are now tearing them apart. Simple occasional frustrations have morphed into everyday fights causing complex fractures. Marriages are miserable, families are affected, and the equation for a marriage made one is elusive.
In Two Equals One, Jimmy and Irene Rollins introduce you to a solution that is counter-cultural to a society that encourages you to give up, to not give your spouse any more chances, or use pain as permission to step out on your spouse. A solution that with two committed people coupled with the power of God can be the equation for a marriage made one. Two Equals One presents the case to stay rather than leave. To lean in rather than let go. To give you a framework and path to discover a marriage equation of love, laughter, and longevity.
From tackling tough topics such as addiction and resentment to addressing the impact of neglecting spousal roles, Two Equals One is a comprehensive guide to strengthening and salvaging relationships, while offering practical challenges, prayers, and resources to actively engage couples. |
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What Our Readers Are Saying |
"This is an excellent book for married couples. The advice given is not always easy to follow but it worth the effort to have a happy marriage." — Gail A. |
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Jimmy and Irene will help readers to: - Move from cussing and fussing to communicating and forgiving
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Learn tools to have hard conversations that will improve your communication and connection in relationships
- Find hope and healing in areas in your relationship where there is real hurt, broken trust, and rebuild your relationship together
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Discover how two completely different people can accept, learn from, and leverage their differences to make a marriage made one
Jimmy and Irene encourage couples to identify differences and navigate through them, providing guidance on conflict management and expectation setting. They stand firm in their belief that with effort and commitment, any marriage can overcome challenges and thrive. Your irreconcilable difference can be reconciled. |
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Uncover the secrets to a thriving marriage. Focusing on reconciling differences and forging true intimacy, Two Equals One emphasizes the crucial roles of communication, understanding, and concerted team effort. |
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+ Don't miss the workbook! |
Two Equals One Workbook: A Marriage Equation for Love, Laughter, and Longevity |
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The Love and Respect Devotional |
BY: DR. EMERSON EGGERICHS |
| Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage |
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BY: DAN B. ALLENDER & STEVE CALL |
| The Deep-Rooted Marriage Companion Guide |
BY: DAN B. ALLENDER & STEVE CALL |
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