To My Human,
It’s me, your dog. I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news: someone has been taking up all the space in your bed. The good news: we can fix this with a FREE BARK x Paw Rug Bed. They’re machine washable, super-cozy, and FREE with our first box of toys and treats!
I know what you're thinking: “Wait, can my dog handle amazing new toys and treats every month?” Yes, I can. I mean, it’s a huge responsibility, but I’m willing to take it on. I guess that’s just the kind of dog I am. (And don’t worry, I’ll still visit your bed in the dead of night to deliver my signature blend of hot breath and stinky kisses — that’s also just the kind of dog I am.)
Listen, we may never know who pushed you to the very edge of your bed (and your sanity) night after night, so let’s definitely stop asking questions like “Are you kidding me?” and “WHYYY?” The point is, we know how to make things better: with a FREE BARK x Paw Rug Bed and monthly BARK goodies.
Well, I’m gonna try to figure out how to send you this email. It’s hard without thumbs, but I think I can do it. See you at dinner!
Love,
Your Dog
